Friday, February 29, 2008

Jedi Jedi Strikes Again

I really hate giving this girl another second out of my life that I will never get back, but I have to make another exception today....

December 07, Jedi called me to let me know she is going to naija for the holidays and she will be back 2nd week in January...and she was excited because she was going to see one of her ex-bobos while she was there(keep in mind this is the same ex who lives in another country in Europe and had a child with the lady he claimed was filing his adjustment of status....i guess over there, the currency used is ur oko and ur punany)

I almost felt like warning her about her stupidity in trusting him with all the things he has done to her in the past, even though she is not completely innocent herself, but who am I? Let me kuku respect myself and carry my own waka(I didn't want to hear about how she is more experienced than me because of the 4 whole years she crawled around the earth before me, she has not heard the phrase quantity vs quality)

On the 12th January, imagine my surprise when her cousin called me and said they were worried about Jedi because she has not returned, and they could not get in touch with her...me being the person than I am, I automatically assumed she forgot her green card in America and they refused to let her in at the port of entry....lol...I know, I know...I have issues

January 28th came around and she even had me worried...so I had a friend of mine go to her house and check things out....It turned out that she was still in Nigeria and would not return till February 10...strange? Why did she extend her trip, especially when she started a new job just 2 months before leaving...she de craze??

February 22rd, I saw Jedi at a small get together and you will never believe what her announcement was....



THE BITCH GOT MARRIED!!!!!!

I almost chocked on my oh so delicious pepper soup....do you know what kind of damage can be done by choking on pepper....Baba God save me ooo....do not let this girl and her desire to get married before 30 kill me ooo...after my Baba heard my cry he saved me from choking so I can get the details from her....she told me that they did the introduction with the family and did a civil ceremony at the registrar's office...

I said to myself, "Oreke, don't be judgemental...maybe this bobo...(I will call him baba Delta...mainly cos that's where he is from)has really changed and seen the error of his ways....maybe Jedi too is tired of sleeping around every single naija man that has a decent size wallet (single, engaged, married...as long as there is money she is there) Plus the poor girl will be 29 this year...maybe she is seriously ready to settle down....

Even though I was still upset at her for what she did(if you read my last post you know...)and I cannot let go until I have confronted her and gotten all the abuses and hellfire curses out of me....I grab every ounce of strength in me to open my mouth and say, "Ah Jedi...I am so happy for you....you really deserve this....I hope you and Baba Delta are very happy together..." If you really knew me...you would have realized how hard that was for me......One thing I was not prepared for and didn't know how to respond to was her reply.....


She said to me....and I Quote...."Who gives a shit about Baba Delta....Oloshi ni bobo ye nse...."(I write better Yoruba than I speak!!!) Now she has me confused, and I am at a loss for words....thank goodness my amebo friend Bola was there.....she has the sense to ask, "If you didn't marry Baba Delta...who did you get married to?"

You won't believe Jedi had the nerve to look pissed, hurt and a little shocked that we were inquiring who her latest bobo was.....she said, "This is why females always have problems...they are quick to judge before they get the full story," Oreke...being Orkeke had to open her mouth and say something...."Jedi...why are you taking things personal....you leave Yankee professing your undying love and devotion to Baba Delta...and you are upset because we are now shocked that you married the next bobo on the street....this is not a matter of judging you or even hating on you, I am asking so I can make sure you have all your marbles in tact, and that they have not put something in you food in naija...kai"

Jedi now rolls her eyes in true Jedi fashion...."well his name is 'Tunji' and he is a friend of 'so and so'...he is really nice, quiet...God fearing, romantic...he is everything I want in a man and more....
I am now fighting the demon that lives inside me that causes to say whats on my mind...."Jedi...you married a yoruba after all the abuses you have given them..kai...(Jedi has this thing where she does not date Yoruba boys...even though she is Yoruba herself...because they are stingy with money and they have small tadpoles...and they don't last long in bed...lol stupid right?)I don't mean to rain on the parade that you have playing in your head, but u have dated men for years before realizing how stupid they are....so what makes you think ur radar for picking out stupidity has gotten strong enough to do this in 6 weeks??" This demon is stronger than i thought....

I was not surprised when she got in my face and started putting her finger in my face as she talked, "I won't expect you to understand, so just mind what is yours and I will mind what is mine....
I decided to back down...after all it her life...Baba God...just don't let me slap all the pancake off her face the next time she gets bold enough to put her finger in my face again....

Anyway...there is another lucky guy in Nigeria that has found a free visa to America...without stepping one foot into the Embassy....his dreams has now come to fruition....after he gets here...he will file for his wife and 5 kids....My Good friend Jedi has now helped 7 people advance from the poverty of Nigeria...Baba God please bless her and bring her own husband to her....Amen

8 comments:

Pink-satin said...

wat!!!!!!!!!na wa o...well your friend is seriously a hand full...but the guy doesnt have automatic visa to yankee!!!she only has a green card thus not a citizen!!!

i like ur blog o!let me go n read older post!

Orekelewa said...

@pink-satin....Thanks for reading, but unfortunately the guy does...she has already gone through the citizenship process prior even before she met her "husband" so anyday now she will get her blue passport!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao.. u are bloody HILARIOUSS.. im puttin u on my blogroll IMMEDIATELY.. haha.. u kill me i swear to God.. i wont even laff at the babe cos i know ppl way younger who have the same ideaas about men... i guess to each his/her own... babe u FUNNY

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wow! okay, I am speechless but think I should read your last post.

Wow!


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

Orekelewa said...

@onb...Thanks for stopping by, I just started reading your blog from the beginning and I am hooked!

@solomonsydelle...Thanks for reading

pink gloves said...

Man ur friend Jedi is definitely in a class of her own.
U can only wish her the best of luck.
My first time here on ur blog by the way. I like it a lot.

Simi Speaks said...

lol. o my goodness. i need to read more on this jedi character. will be bck

30+ said...

This jedi na real bum chopper